So here I am this Black Friday on my ass at home, having bought nothing and performed no acts of violence in a WalMart. Not to mention I am without the PlayStation / Assassin's Creed III game I thought would turn this Sisyphean Thanksgiving weekend  into a revolutionary war murder-orgy. Needless to say, I have failed my duty as an American. But hey, where I am slovenly others are proactive and patriotic -- and the fine combatants of this years Black Friday have done a great job re-creating the chaos of an Assasin's Creed killing at Walmart's across the country. Now, while unfortunately no one has been tomahawked this year, there are still plenty of gruesome/downright scummy stories to go around this holiday season. Yet again too lazy to compile these stories organically for you here today, I have brought you first: Gawker's Black Friday  breakdown. Let us give thanks to the great people at Gawker, who have been regular balm to the blurring boredom of my 9 to 5 job, and now deliver unto us stories of hicks and child abuse in the name of a 20% sale. I bring you Gawker's Black Friday 2012 Arrest Report. Amen.  Oh and here's a new mix from my boy Bob Gravity to serve as a soundtrack for you all. A little peaceful music never spoiled some great violence.

[soundcloud url="http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/68352937" params="?" width=" 100%" height="166" iframe="false" /]

Alright I couldn't resist.  Here's a few youtube vids I enjoyed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=8O6IMYSSs7c

Oh and did I mention people decided this was a good time to protest the corporate scummary of Wall Mart? I hope the riot police didnt get that crowd of overweight geriatric Walmart protesters confused with an angry horde of violent shoppers. When else can you say that? Violent Shoppers! I love Black Friday.