So here I am this Black Friday on my ass at home, having bought nothing and performed no acts of violence in a WalMart. Not to mention I am without the PlayStation / Assassin's Creed III game I thought would turn this Sisyphean Thanksgiving weekend into a revolutionary war murder-orgy. Needless to say, I have failed my duty as an American. But hey, where I am slovenly others are proactive and patriotic -- and the fine combatants of this years Black Friday have done a great job re-creating the chaos of an Assasin's Creed killing at Walmart's across the country. Now, while unfortunately no one has been tomahawked this year, there are still plenty of gruesome/downright scummy stories to go around this holiday season. Yet again too lazy to compile these stories organically for you here today, I have brought you first: Gawker's Black Friday breakdown. Let us give thanks to the great people at Gawker, who have been regular balm to the blurring boredom of my 9 to 5 job, and now deliver unto us stories of hicks and child abuse in the name of a 20% sale. I bring you Gawker's Black Friday 2012 Arrest Report. Amen. Oh and here's a new mix from my boy Bob Gravity to serve as a soundtrack for you all. A little peaceful music never spoiled some great violence.
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Alright I couldn't resist. Here's a few youtube vids I enjoyed.
Because no one ever got a deal on a phone before Black Friday, right?
Oh and did I mention people decided this was a good time to protest the corporate scummary of Wall Mart? I hope the riot police didnt get that crowd of overweight geriatric Walmart protesters confused with an angry horde of violent shoppers. When else can you say that? Violent Shoppers! I love Black Friday.