EDM DJ UNION BANS SMILING IN PROMO SHOTS

 

EDM DJ UNION BANS SMILING IN PROMO SHOTS

EDM DJ representative Carl Cox recently signed an agreement that states:

 

No longer shall an EDM DJ (this includes all forms of Electronic Dance Music besides Dubstep) smile in a promotional shot used for any promotional material (I.E. Flyers, Banners, Tickets, etc.). If a smile of any sorts is detected by our Union Representatives, a fine of $10,000 USD will be assessed to the violated DJ. We collectively hope our workers will respect this movement and have all shots redone, minimizing any teeth showing and further more promoting our seriousness of the DJ craft that we mean business.

~Carl Cox, Chairman – EDM DJ Union

With this recent bill, many DJs are quick to contact their photographers to have a new set of material shot. Many DJs are also excluding color from their shots and resulting in DJs wearing black, tight-fit Armani Exchange v-neck t-shirts only to further the effect.

We bumped into Nicky Romero as he left the meeting, “I don’t even care”, Nicky stated, “I’m serious. I mean business. I only smile when I have music playing. Otherwise, I’m a pretty dark soul.” Following Nicky’s remarks, we caught Tiesto before he walked out. “IBIZA!!!” was all he had to say.

DB

Many DJs have already pushed towards this movement. We had a chance to hear what Avicii had to say. “Honestly, smiling isn’t fun. I never liked to do it. It’s weird. Who smiles anyway? The 1920s are in style now”, said the Ralph Lauren representative. “If I’m on a flyer, I want to look sexy, not happy. DJs shouldn’t smile when performing either, we need to keep it serious.” We immediately showed him footage of the #1 DJ in the world, Hardwell, at UMF. Avicii quickly responded by saying, “Hardwell smiles too much in person. It freaks me out. Clearly his smiling went a little too far with the Ultra Live Stream Host

Rukes, the top DJ photographer in the world, was unable to comment due to the fact that he has recently disappeared following this hearing. We were able to get an anonymous tip from a ‘close friend’ of Rukes, who stated the following: “I know he was bombarded by every DJ to get their pictures redone. I tried calling him and his voicemail was full. It’s not a good sign. He just had to get away for a while. But I’m sure this recent ruling by the EDM Union is only driving him insane.”

As far as we know, Rukes has started referring all of his clients to The Chainsmokers, requesting that selfies be taken in place of head-shots done by the famous photographer. Drew and Alex were quick to post numerous pictures as tutorials for EDM no smiling head-shots. Rumor has it that their new smash hit track titled ‘#SELFIE‘ was step 1 of the ‘no smile movement’. We tried to reach The Chainsmokers for comment, but they didn’t answer and just sent us a photo of their face…we believe this was a #SELFIE.

While walking out of the meeting, Afrojack pulled up in his Lamborghini with a bottle of Ciroc in hand. “AM I LATE? WHAT HAPPENED? SH*T FU*K GSTAR!!!! RAWWW!!!!!” We tried to explain what happened, but Afrojack quickly finished what seemed to be a half a bottle of Ciroc and then sped off playing old David Guetta tracks, with what heard to be Akon locked in the back of the Lambo trunk.

afafa

Dada Life, known for their banana eating and champagne guzzling ways, called in to Daily-Beat to comment on this extreme change, “We believe smiling should be allowed. We cannot believe Carl Cox would force a movement to have DJs look like mannequins on their promo material. We have spend thousands and thousands of dollars to give ‘smiling masks’ to our fans during our show. We refuse to burn all that and hand out frowning masking. It wouldn’t give off the same effect. In result, Dada Life will file to veto this new regulation. In Dadaland, everyone smiles. We will not stand for this insane change!”

#Electronic #Humor #Satire

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