Illmethodology's 15 Music Festival #LifeHacks

January 15, 2015 -

Louis Garcia

The original article can be found at Illmethodology.

We love music festivals, but let’s be real, they can get rough sometimes. What we pay upwards of $300 for, many would consider to be hell. No clean bathrooms, no real bathrooms, 24 hours of nonstop noise, scorching sun, no microwaves, no showers, and a rocky night sleep.

But, we love it, don’t we? Because, if we are willing to shell out that much money, we are looking beyond the negatives on to the positive spectrum of the engaging community, the chance to take workshops about everything from permaculture to orgasms, and of course, one small factor…the music.

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Plus, it’s a chance to get a way from all our modern world crap. It’s our break from our tempurpedic mattresses, our television sets, our air conditioning, our wifi, our flushing toilets, and our nice warm showers. It’s all a part of the important life lesson of detachment.

Still, going to a music festival shouldn’t have to be as harsh as a going on a “walkabout” through the Australian desert. So, we compiled some #lifehacks for all of you festival goers.


 ​1. FREEZE YOUR JUGS

Take old milk jugs, fill them with purified water, and freeze them before you leave. Put them in your cooler to serve as giant ice cubes. They will keep your cooler cold and when they melt, you have ice-cold water. This works with juice boxes too…but make sure it’s ORGANIC JUICE, you don’t want to get the evil eye from a hippie because your drinking a sugar fueled Capri sun.

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 2. EAT LIKE AN ASTRONAUT

Pre make your meals, VACUUM SEAL  them, and freeze. Keep them in your cooler till you are ready to eat. Before you eat them, stick them in a pot of boiling water to defrost. Instant hot meal with no dirty dishes. Pizza is a good choice for this, because on those nights where boiling a pot of water seems to be too “complicated” for some reason, cold pizza will be your savior. Plus, it’s got all your food groups!

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 3. KEEP COFFEE ON TAP

​Start saving your plastic juice bottles a few months ahead of the festival. Brew a ton of COFFEE and fill up those bottles before you leave. Being out in the sun all day can seriously wear you out, so when you come back to camp at sundown to get your jacket you can drink some coffee. It will help you power through the long night. It also will help for those hungover mornings.

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 4. LICK SALT

Ever notice that no matter how much water you drink at a festival, you still feel dehydrated? It’s because you probably are! Get a HIMALAYAN SALT CRYSTAL to lick throughout the day. The pure salt will give you the electrolytes and minerals you need to stay hydrated, plus all the hippies will think you are super heady.

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 5. BABY POWDER THAT GREASE PILE

Lots of people bring Dry Shampoo, but it’s really just a marketing scam. Dry Shampoo = BABY POWDER. So save a few bucks and buy a travel sized container of baby powder to sprinkle in your hair to free it from grease. Just make sure you don’t put too much in or else you’re friends will start to wonder if you’re lying about your age.

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 6. ZIP IT UP!

ZIPLOCK BAGS! For Everything! Pre-pack your outfits, underwear and socks included into large ziploc bags. This will make things easy to find when its 2 days in and your tent looks like a hurricane went through it. This is also good for Burning Man, where the dust can infiltrate everything. Use Ziploc bags for other items as well, such as batteries (bring extra phone and camera BATTERIES if you have them so you don’t have to worry about charging!), camera, hair ties, toothbrush, whatever. It’s like adding tons of little compartments to your duffle bag. Everything will be much easier to find.

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 7. DON’T BE TRASHY

Carry a MOOP bag!! What’s MOOP you say?? Well, my young padewon, MOOP is Matter Out Of Place; it’s basically a hippie dippie way of saying “trash.” So, carry around a little baggie (dare I suggest another use for ziplocs?) and pick up MOOP whenever you see it. How is this a #lifehack? Well, by picking up MOOP, you will be helping the environment, helping the festivals chances of getting to come back the next year, and inspiring others to pick up trash too! Plus…groundscores!! *Also be a preventer of MOOP by carrying around an altoid CONTAINER for your cigarette butts*

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 8. SHOW US YOUR STICK!

Make a Staff/Totem for your group of friends! As we mentioned before, festivals are about letting go of your modern day commodities, plus your cell phone will probably die/won’t have reception, so resort back to your caveman instincts and find your tribe by locating their giant light up staff! Put something on top that represents you; whether it’s a unicorn, picture of Bill Murray, or some trippy Sacred Geometry, just make sure you add some el wire so it can light up properly at night. *#lifehackhack = put yourGOPRO on your staff, so your friends can find you and you can capture the moment! *

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 9. DOSE UP … ON VITAMINS!

Bring a first aid kit packed with vitamins. Bring 5-HTP to help your brain produce serotonin after a wild night. But, be careful. Although, it might make you feel better at the moment, your body is still in recovery. Be wary of partaking in drugs multiple nights. If you choose to party hard all three nights in a row, your body will take three times as long to recover. So, pick one night to go all out, and please do so responsibly. ;) CINNAMON CAPSULES are also a good item to pack in your kit. This spice will give you more energy because it contains blood glucose regulator, methylhydroxychalcone polymer. Say that three times fast! Studies have shown that this regulator changes the way we process sugar, so instead of storing sugar as excess, we release it as energy! Take it when you need the extra boost! GUMMY VITAMINS are also a good thing to pack. They are a fun and easy way to get everybody around you nourished as well. And of course, a NETI POT is also helpful to keep your nose clear of all the dust. But, make sure you don’t use it before you go to sleep, or else you might wake up with an ear infection!

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 10. PIMP PALACE

Turn your EASY UP into a nice big luxury tent to sleep in. Take old sheets (or funky TAPESTRIES if you have them) and safety pin them to the four sides of your easy up. This works best for festivals that get pretty hot. There’s nothing worse than waking up in an 100 degree tent after one hour of sleep and countless swigs of who knows what. You won’t believe how much cooler you will be in your easy up tent, as wind can easily slip through the cracks. Open up one side in the daytime and it turns into your nice comfy and shady living room. Look at those tall ceilings!

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11. GET NAKED

Find a partner and SLEEP with them naked. We’re not saying you have to have sex with them, we’re also not saying you can’t though, but the point we’re trying to get across is that when you have skin-to-skin contact with another person, you will be sharing heat and you will be warmer throughout the night. Plus, you will most likely be in a better mood when you wake up, because, well, cuddling is fun. And, naked cuddling is even more fun. But, always remember, “No means No!”

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 12. CREATE YOUR OWN CULT

If you are camping with a group of friends, take the time to organize properly ahead of time. Make a facebook group or a google doc and plan meals together. Not only will this save the amount of meals you will have to make, but it will also be a nice time for your crew to get together at night, connect and collect yourselves, before you all get ready to go out for the night. Planning ahead of time will also prevent you from having 4 gas stoves or 8 bottles of bloody mary mix. Collaborate with your crew to create an awesome space and share what you have with each other. Community building is a valuable lesson that festivals can teach us. Starting small within your festival crew can one day lead to a big awesome theme camp and one year may lead to your apocalyptic commune when the zombies finally attack.

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 13. DROP KNOWLEDGE

Bring a JOURNAL and pen with you everywhere you go. This way you can write down a new dj/band that you saw and want to remember to look up later. You can write down the name of an artist you watched live paint. You can write down notes at the workshop you are attending. You can write down names, numbers, and emails of new friends. And, you can write down sudden (possibly drug induced) epiphanies you have. However, we are not guaranteeing that they will make sense the next day.

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 14. SHARING IS CARING

Bring things that will engage you with the people around you. If it’s hot bring a SQUIRT GUN or a HAND FAN. Cool off the strangers around you. Bring a guitar or another instrument and go sit in the shade and play, people will join. Bring a POLAROID camera to take pictures of people and give them the Polaroid to take home as a momento. Walk around with a basket of fruit to share with people. Infuse the fruit with alcohol to really engage with them. Bring a solar paneled BOOMBOX to draw people into your camp. Impromptu dance parties are the best.

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 15. SLEEP IS NOT ONLY FOR THE WEAK

NEVER HAVE FOMO! This might not seem to be a #lifehack because it’s not something you physically create. But, it is a very important thing to keep in mind while you are at a festival. There is so much going on all at once at a festival, there is no doubt that you are missing out on something totally amazing and life changing. But, you just have to accept that. You have to listen to your body and know when it needs a break. If you need a nap, take a nap. If you can’t make it till sunrise, don’t worry, just go to sleep. Your experiences will be better if your body is happy. Your body will not be happy if it doesn’t get any rest. Try to remember that while you may be missing out on some sunrise set, someone else is most likely missing out on the amazing yoga class you do the next morning after your nice night of sleep. Listen to your body and trust that it will lead you to do the right thing, in the right moment.

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Article written by Molly Ebner.

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