I was at my parent's house the other day and my Mom goes, "David, what exactly goes on at these shows you DJ at?" For a second, I was unsure what to say. My mind was racing. I started to hear the narrator from "A Christmas Story" in my head going "Think it over David. Don't rush this one. You need to make her understand, this won't be easy!" So I sat there, for about a minute, an awkward minute; basically filled with me attempting to get a word out but then stopping myself.
For this reason, I have designed a DOs and DONTs to help you educate your parents about EDM.
Before I begin, I dont not want this to come across as any shaming towards the rave and/or kandi community. I have no hate towards anyone for how they dress or act at an EDM event. These are just clear cut ways to prevent your parents from thinking you're a lunatic. Because let's face it, 9/10 people at an EDM event tend to be a tad outside the 'parental' norm.
1. Don't show them any pictures from the event unless it's just of the stage.
Trust me on this. If you're over 18, your parents will most likely think you have some issues when you show them photos of people covered in multi-colored beads or wearing a neon tu-tu. Don't even think about showing them a photo of a girl sucking on a pacifier, you'll be shamed and removed from your family -- matter of fact, dont show them any women; they'll most likely assume you're at some odd strip club.
2. Don't let them hear Dubstep. Just don't.
Last time I tried to explain to my mom who Skrillex was (after an awkward conversation where she asked me if I ever heard of him), she thought my phone speaker was broken and then asked if it was dialing up to the internet. So for your sanity, and a less chance of your parents kicking you out of the house -- do not let them hear dubstep.
3. Don't let them hear any music you make.
Even if you're good. Just don't. Unless your track includes the Bee Gees or Celine Dion, just avoid any opportunities for your Mom to 'critique' your tunes.
4. Don't ever wear anything with the words "Molly" or any drug references on a shirt.
As out of touch as most parents are, most are educated of 'Rave Drugs' from reading MSN or AOL News. Trust me, they see this sh*t, and you also look like a total f*cking tool by even promoting drug use.
5. Don't walk around the house or in the presence of your parents with fake Ray-Ban Wayfarers without the lenses in them -- and please be sure they are not neon colored.
1. They want to hear some of the music you like?
Ok! Just be sure to let them hear super old tunes from the 2000s. Some parent friendly tunes include 'Listen to your Heart - DHT', "Heaven - DJ Sammy", "Call on Me - Eric Prydz", "Something - Lasgo", and "Days Go By - Dirty Vegas". All of these tunes are very parent friendly and will usually get the 'Oh, I like this! I can groove to this! Funky stuff David!" You're welcome guys.
2. Do show cool, awesome, colorful pictures of lasers. Parents love colorful stuff.
3. Do show them ariel footage from concerts with TONS of people.
Never enough detail where you can actually see the people though.
4. Do agree with most things they ask or say.
The time will come when your parents ask you if you know 'the band Avicii'. Just say yes, nod, and smile.
5. Do show them grammy footage of Zedd winning awards.
In conclusion, I hope you all get a brief idea on how to act around the parents, especially when it comes to the misunderstood nature of EDM. I hope I wasn't offensive, for that wasn't my intention. I know what goes on at these shows, and I'm pretty sure you do too. Sure, some parents will be 'OK' with everything; but for the most part your parents will always look at you like you're out of your mind while you're listening to the latest Beatport Top 10 in your room. Know the DOs and DONTs, and you'll be fine.